About

I am a survivor. On the night of November 19–20, 2022, my life changed forever. I trusted someone—a taxi driver—to get me home safely, but I was betrayed, assaulted, and violated. Reporting what happened was just the beginning of a journey I never asked for, one filled with pain, PTSD, anxiety, and depression.Who I am now is someone striving to rebuild, to reclaim her life, and to channel trauma into purpose. This space is my way of breaking the silence around sexual assault, mental health, and the realities of being a survivor. My goal is to create a safe space for others who feel alone, to share strategies, resources, and truths that have helped me navigate recovery.I am not “cured,” and I carry the weight of my experience every day—but I hope that in sharing my story, I can help others feel less alone. This is my truth, my fight, and my legacy: to shine light in the darkness and to remind others that even in our hardest moments, we are not alone.

If It Kills Me I Tried

I survived, I share, I help others stand.

The charity I randomly came across, who kept me alive when I couldn't burden those I loved.

My Book

I wrote this book not for profit, not for fame, and not for recognition. I wrote it so that if anything were ever to happen to me, my truth would be out there—my words, my story, and nothing but the truth.It wasn’t an easy book to write. Hand on heart, I haven’t been able to read it cover to cover yet. But writing it has already helped me in ways I didn’t expect. By putting my story into words, I’ve been able to say: “It happened. It’s over. I survived it.” It’s no longer something that is happening now—it is something I endured and lived through.This is a raw, honest account of trauma, resilience, and survival. It shares strategies that helped me navigate the darkness and serves as a testament that even when life tries to break you, your voice, your story, and your courage remain.

I’ve been through trauma and darkness that at times felt like it would consume me. I’ve failed, I’ve fallen, and I’ve tried things that didn’t work. But through it all, I stood up. I share my journey, my pain, my strategies, and my failures because I want you to know—you are not alone.

The White Room
TW - Sexual Abuse

Cold.
Alone.All visibility of the real world blocked. It was just me, the plain white towering walls, and the door in the corner. No distractions, no escape—my mind was free to lose control. Buried trauma bubbled inside, fueling anger and frustration. Yet, strangely, it also gave me a flicker of warmth in this ghostly room.The sound of the lock echoed off the walls, and fear set in. Time had no meaning here, yet it reminded me that the world beyond these walls kept moving. The door swung open, a glimpse of blue sky at his shoulder. His dagger stare met mine, smirk on his unshaven face. It was time to descend again into darkness—a place his hands sent me with every violation. I could feel them, controlling me, crushing me, stealing my breath and my voice.When it was over, I returned to the white room. Alone, in tears, damaged. Time blurred. Seconds, hours, days—all merged into the same heavy silence.Then, something changed. He approached, knowing he had already won. But this time, I was sober. For the first time, I opened my eyes and was on top of him. Punching, shouting, releasing years of buried rage. I needed him to understand the damage, to feel the consequences he never acknowledged. When it was over, my hands were covered in blood—mine, possibly his—but for a fleeting second, I felt relief. Justice. Power.And then I was alone again. The door in the corner remained, silent, unchanged. My body remembered the reality: it had been real. The cycle repeated. The monster in my mind remained free—but I began to see the distance between us. Physically, he could no longer harm me. I had moved cities; I had left him behind.For the first time, I realised I could leave the white room. I could step forward into warmth, comfort, and light. The white walls might remain in memory, sending shivers of discomfort, but I was walking forward. I was reclaiming reality. I was in control.If this resonates with you or you need support, there are trusted resources to help you below

You Are Not Alone

After everything, it can feel like no one understands. But help exists, and support is out there—even when it feels impossible.
These are some of the organisations, hotlines, and tools that have helped me, and that can help you too:

Emergency Contacts:

Charities and Organisations

If you are in crisis, there are many other local organisations—these are just a few I have personally found helpful or heard others praise.

  • The Survivors Trust (UK-wide) – Network of specialist sexual violence support services. Website

  • SARCC (South Wales) – Provides support to women and men affected by rape, sexual assault, and childhood sexual abuse. Webiste

  • Victim Support (UK-wide) – Free, confidential support for anyone affected by crime, including sexual abuse. Website

  • Rape Crisis Wales – Umbrella organisation for rape crisis centres across Wales. Webiste

  • C.A.L.L. (Crisis and Counselling Line, Wales) – Free, confidential support for mental health crises, including trauma. Website

  • Mind Cymru – Mental health charity in Wales providing support, information, and advocacy. Website

Quick Coping Strategies

  • Ground yourself: Take 10 deep breaths and notice your surroundings.

  • Write it out: Journaling can release buried emotions safely.

  • Reach out: Talk to someone you trust or a trained counsellor.

  • Step into the light: Even a short walk outside can reconnect you with reality.

  • Use Your Senses: Pop a sour sweet or something with a strong taste—it pulls you into the present and out of dissociation.

Downloadable Guide

Grab a free PDF with journaling prompts, grounding exercises, and strategies that helped me survive and begin to reclaim control.

You Have The Right To Use Your Voice And Speak Your Truth.This Anonymous unless you choose to add your name...That is Your Choice.

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#IfItKillsMeITried
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